Recognize My Own Addictions

Jules ...'s avatar image
Jules ...'s Goal

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 I can be blessed in saying thank God I don't have to worry about alcohol, drug, porn or gambling addictions. At this point I already have enough problems in my life that it would be truly an end of life if I had to deal with any of those monsters.

 Then again, though, I am not perfect. My addictions are games whether computer, video or even app-wise. I get lockdown focus and driven to drive myself to go as far as I can as fast as I can. I refused to go to my fifth grade ceremony since I was so focused on playing Oregon Trail instead. And this last year from Aug 2018 until Sept 2019 I was caught in LOD - chained by my need for Dailies plus being a guild leader of a very successful group. All my days were focused on this one game eeen when I was at work.

 Since leaving LOD though I have been on a constant mission to fill my time with another game, bouncing from one to another in the hope of finding one that holds my attention. It is a time I put a stop to it since I don't want to waste my time anymore when I can be out and about doing things.

 Another addiction I have is with books - reading mostly. I feel a need to read each day even though there are just some days when it is too busy. At the same time it also embraces the facts of trying to find older books I have read already, to review them on GR loyally and to be able to obsessively organize them in a rigid order. This problem I am working on by eventually cutting my reading requirement to only about 20 minutes or so a day starting maybe next year but only after I finish reading the whole Bible.

 Then I can also acknowledge but I am not quite sure whether I am addicted quite yet to these next two. Being honest I am codependent on my husband with some days I just need to be around him more than others (honestly probably a truthful relationship between a couple). Otherwise I don't mind being independent as much as I need to be but it is a conflict of sorts as well.

 And finally I enjoy food a bit too much. Although I am not a full time binge eater there are times when I can most definitely overeat, not eat healthy or just find myself binging. In this case I can say that this behavior is mostly tied to boredom or being tired plus past habits. Again, though, like the codependency it isn't a full time obsession.


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