Extreme Tubing on a whitewater river

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Ross Dolan's Goal

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Sometimes it's too hot to mountain bike.  Sometimes it's not windy enough to kite board.  To be honest, sometimes I just want to drink beer, but I don't want to feel like a lonely, lazy bastard just sitting in my yard drinking beer, staring at the same garden and the same mountains all day long... Solution? Go extreme tubing. It's quite a simple formula:  All you need is a tube (of the sturdy variety used behind boats), a paddle, and a case of beer.  A kayak safety boat and life jacket are optional precautions, but you're probably covered if you just use the empty beer case as a helmet.  The river can be a raging Upper Mamquam after a heavy rain, or a mellow Deschutes River in Bend, in the dog days of summer, or anything in between.  Your call.  As long as you have scenic vistas floating by, your friends at your side, the sun on your face and a beer in your hand, life doesn't get much better.



Notes to make life easier: 

1. Make sure you use a solid tube with a canvas cover, not one of those black inner tubes from old truck tires.  They don't fare to well on sharp rocks and sticks.  Shocking I know, but not nearly as shocking as hearing a *bang* a fraction of a second before you're inadvertently swimming.

2. Find one of those mesh laundry bags, or a reasonable facsimile thereof, fill it with your beer, put it under your ass and tie it to your tube.  Flipping over in a rapid might be scary, it might be exciting and adrenaline-inducing, it may simply be cold and annoying, but without a shadow of a doubt, righting your trusty boat only to discover that all your precious golden beverages have escaped... is nothing short of pure terror.  Why bother getting back in, just drown me now.

3. Stash a couple beer at the end of the river where you're planning to get out. I don't see how this can't be a good thing. Have you ever heard someone say "oh no, I have too many cold beers waiting for me"... If so, punch that guy.

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